It's early Thanksgiving morning and I've been waiting for a call from my ex-sponsor Rick L. which by now I guess will never come. It kind of feels like waiting for the ex-boyfriend to call after a messy breakup. I'm very sad. But I can't call him. There really isn't much for me to say. At this point I don't have the one requirement that would justify a conversation with him, which is the desire to stop drinking. Besides, the last time we talked I could hear the exasperation in his voice. After more than 10 years of my going in and out of the program he seemed as tired of lecturing me as I was tired of hearing it. We had come to an impasse and we both knew it. I finally realized that I had the best sponsor that A.A. had to offer and I still could not fully embrace the program. The gig was up.
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