Tuesday, November 28, 2006

One Year Chip (on my shoulder.)


This defining relapse of mine probably began a year ago. They say the relapse happens long before the drink, and on that I can agree. This past year it became increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that after 10 years of trying and 4 years 4 months and 24 days of continual sobriety, I just did not belong here. Was my relapse a moment where my "disease" suddenly took hold? Or was it just a way to finalize a deal that had already been done? Granted; finding myself doing lines of coke off the naked body of some hot blond boy in the darker recesses of L.A.s nightlife doesn't look good on paper; but if I was on the way out then that was the door I was busting down.

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